So I was sitting at my daughter's indoor soccer game yesterday and I suddenly had an epiphany. You know, one of those "Oh my God! I'm ruining my child and I didn't even realize it" moments. OK, come on. I know I'm not the only one who has these moments. I was watching her as she played goalie. This is her first year playing indoor, and her team is playing up. She was out there on the field with girls twice her size, who obviously have way more experience. She had allowed two goals and was still looking determined and strong. In that moment I thought how incredibly proud I was of her. It was also that moment that all the negative feelings I have about my body rushed to my mind and was mortified that this is what my kids see. I'd like to think I'm careful about what I say in front of Hannah, but she's a smart girl and I know she picks up on way more than I think. So, with all the effort I've put into telling her how beautiful, smart and kind she is. And after pounding into all of their heads that what makes a person beautiful is their heart; how they treat others and certainly not their physical appearance. In the meantime I'm consistently down on my appearance. We are teaching the kids that a good, balanced diet is important to stay healthy. And I know I'm healthy. My annual physical says I'm I'm excellent health. Yet I know they've all heard me say more than once that my butt is way too big. I think it hit me more while I was watching my sweet, innocent, beautiful 8 year old daughter because, like it or not, women get the shaft in this area. Society says we need to look a certain way and most of us, even though we say we don't buy into it, have succumbed to these ridiculous goals.
So, my first, and likely most important goal this year is to practice what I preach. Not only must I not speak negatively of myself in front of my kids, I really need to learn to accept my body. I need to celebrate who I am, where I've been, and how far I've come. Think about if Friends. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one guilty of this. I know for a fact that every woman reading this is BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING in every way. Let's celebrate that, continue to lift each other up, encourage each other and focus on health in a positive way. Let's be strong role models for our kids. It up to us to negate the junk they are going to hear from the rest of the world. They deserve it!
Oh Bethie I LOVE this!!!!! I think about this all thee time and my girls are still just little beans. I want them to feel strong and beautiful and proud of themselves and not only cause someone else says they are, but because they really really believe it inside!
ReplyDeleteBeth, you have to check out Operation Beautiful. It's an amazing blog and book that teaches JUST what you said. The book (which I've bought 3 of and given away as gifts) talks about stopping the negative fat talk and negative talk in our heads and learning to love ourselves. The woman started it by leaving positive post-it notes on bathroom mirrors and it grew from there. She now has a book and is coming out with a NEW book especially for tweens/young adults. It's such a powerful message and one that you beautifully talked about in your blog post.
ReplyDeleteI SO agree, I try to be very careful about what I say in front of my kids but it's not always easy. Definitely something to work on for me, too!!