For My Hannah :)

So I was sitting at my daughter's indoor soccer game yesterday and I suddenly had an epiphany. You know, one of those "Oh my God! I'm ruining my child and I didn't even realize it" moments. OK, come on. I know I'm not the only one who has these moments. I was watching her as she played goalie. This is her first year playing indoor, and her team is playing up. She was out there on the field with girls twice her size, who obviously have way more experience. She had allowed two goals and was still looking determined and strong. In that moment I thought how incredibly proud I was of her. It was also that moment that all the negative feelings I have about my body rushed to my mind and was  mortified that this is what my kids see. I'd like to think I'm careful about what I say in front of Hannah, but she's a smart girl and I know she picks up on way more than I think. So, with all the effort I've put into telling her how beautiful, smart and kind she is. And after pounding into all of their heads that what makes a person beautiful is their heart; how they treat others and certainly not their physical appearance. In the meantime I'm consistently down on my appearance. We are teaching the kids that a good, balanced diet is important to stay healthy. And I know I'm healthy. My annual physical says I'm I'm excellent health.  Yet I know they've all heard me say more than once that my butt is way too big. I think it hit me more while I was watching my sweet, innocent, beautiful 8 year old daughter because, like it or not, women get the shaft in this area. Society says we need to look a certain way and most of us, even though we say we don't buy into it, have succumbed to these ridiculous goals.

So, my first, and likely most important goal this year is to practice what I preach. Not only must I not speak negatively of myself in front of my kids, I really need to learn to accept my body. I need to celebrate who I am, where I've been, and how far I've come. Think about if Friends. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one guilty of this. I know for a fact that every woman reading this is BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING in every way. Let's celebrate that, continue to lift each other up, encourage each other and focus on health in a positive way.  Let's be strong role models for our kids. It up to us to negate the junk they are going to hear from the rest of the world. They deserve it!

What Forty Means To Me

So, here it is. Tomorrow I will be 40. That's right, the big 4-0. These last few months I've been contemplating this. I am not afraid. I am not sad. Really, when I really, REALLY think about it, the only reason I have any negative feelings surrounding this milestone, is because we're supposed to. "How do you feel?" "How are you handling it?" "Are you OK?" "Are you depressed?" So, after much thought, here's my final assessment. Bring it FORTY! Here is why...
 
From the ages o 28-34 I was pregnant and or nursing non-stop. Really, I could stop here, right??? As much as I love my kids, who in their right mind would want to go back to that???

At 40 I feel better than I ever have.
 
At 40 I am healthier than I've been since high school and have the resting heart rate of an athlete (hey, it's my birthday, I have bragging rights...and stay tuned, there will be more :))

At 40 I have 3 AMAZING kids who make me laugh and smile and work and cry and sometimes scream. I have a husband who, I can honestly say I love more than I did even 10 years ago. Thank the Lord that the man that I started dating when I was 19 and I have grown up together and melded as a couple and a team. He loves ME; fat, thin, nice, bitchy. And, he's the most amazing father there ever was. Ever. And really, who could ask for more?

Finally, at 40, I have a better understanding of who I am than I ever have. I am learning to take time for myself, to appreciate my blessings, to cry when I need, to fight for what I believe in and to reach out for help when I need it. I am learning to accept the body that has reared and nourished those three charmers and has lost 100 pounds, yet hasn't recovered as well as I'd hoped, despite my diligent efforts. This is all a work in progress but I'm hopeful that by the time I meet 50, I'll have it down :)

So forty, I welcome you. You may not know what to think of me at first but, I have no doubt we'll soon be great friends :)

A Little Background :)

Now this seems like a good place to start :).

 I'm a happily married mom of three and, in fact, my baby is SEVEN today. I know, everyone is always talking about how time flies...and I swore I wouldn't be that person but MAN! How did that happen???

My husband Tim, is a math teacher and, after 13 years at the same middle school, will be switching schools this Friday! A much needed and welcome change for all of us. 

Well, let's back up. After dating for 6 years, in 1997 Tim and I got married.  At the time I was working as a Criminal Investogator and Tim was just beginning his teaching credential program. Never did I think I'd eventually be a SAHM. I LOVED my job and assumed I'd be there forever. Well, fast forward to 2000 and,(yes, another cliche), you never know how you're going to feel after they put your baby in your arms. I did return to work after our eldest Nathan was born. However, we then had Hannah in 2002 and Teddy 18 months later. Yes, I had three kids in 3.5 years! (More about that at a later date :). After much discussion and crunching of numbers, it made more sense for me to stay home than it did to pay for three kids, three and under, in daycare.

So, fast forward to today, Teddy's 7th Birthday...I have now been that SAHM for almost eight years. It is so hard to believe that much time has passed. And, as much as I hate to admit it sometimes, I am probably best known as this...the SAH, PTO, soccer, Martha Stewart Mom. There is so much more to me and I have a lot to say about this topic as well. Stick with me and I'll get to that :)

So, for now, I am the wife to Tim, the mom to Nathan (10), Hannah (8) and Teddy (7). Also the mom to our two Puggles Abby and Marvel. I am a part time Mortgage Consultant (recently fully licensed through NMLS!), I am the PTO Secretary, I work actively in my kids' classrooms and then shuttle them around to various activities in the afternoon. We live in the most kid-friendly community I could imagine and we are so fortunate to have the best friends we could ask for, all within walking distance. I workout like a madwoman to keep the weight off for good (I promise to get to that as well), I enjoy spending time with my family, imbibing in adult beverages with our friends, baking (and giving it away) and living life to it's fullest!

I like to think I'm a positive person and well, I make myself laugh so I must be funny! If I had a motto it would have to be...OK, there's two...first of all "choose happy". Infact, I wanted to name my blog this but it was taken. Secondly, I am a firm believer that, as parents, "we are all just doing our best". The way I am raising my children and the decisions I make may not be in line with yours, but we are all doing the best we know how. How much more we could learn if we weren't so judgmental of others?

That's all for now. I'm a bit sentimental this evening thinking of how quickly my kids are growing. Another instance where I need to stop and count my blessings for sure :)

Let's Give This Blogging Thing A Try!

For several months a few friends have been encouraging me to start a blog. Until last week, I laughed at the very thought of this. What in the world could I write about that would make anyone want to stop and read? Equally as intimidating, I have a couple of friends who keep wonderful blogs and I just don't think I could measure up. I have been encouraged by many to write about weight loss and exercise. This probably has made me laugh only because it scares me. Although I have been successful in these areas, I'm far from an expert, struggle with both areas daily and certainly don't have all of the answers, nor to I think it's enough for a regular blog.

One friend who has encouraged me is an old friend from my freshman year in the dorms at Sac State. Larissa, in my eyes, has one of the purest hearts and is definitely one of the funniest people I have ever met. We lost touch after college but remain connected through our mutual friend Tim. It is because I got to spend time with Larissa at Tim's 40th birthday celebration that I'm here. The words she spoke to me touched me like I haven't been touched in a long time. The message I got from her was that I have touched her, through posts on Facebook, in a big way. Me? I laughed and dismissed her. The following morning I drove home from San Francisco, alone (a rare occasion), and had a lot if time to think. Thank you Larissa for giving me the self-confidence to so this. Even if you are the only person who follows me, I'll be honored :).

I told Larissa that I wouldn't have any idea what to say. She told me to just speak from my heart. Well, that's one thing I am confident I can do. I cannot tell you what this will be but I can assure you, I will keep it real and I will be candid. I know I will talk about health and exercise. I'm positive I will discuss food and alcohol. I'm sure to brag about my kids, because I'm their mom and that's my job, and I know I will exercise my right to whine about them too. Same holds true for my husband. I think I will discuss home fix-it solutions, as I'm cheap and proud and elated when I figure out how to do repairs myself and save a few bucks.  I guarantee I will talk about The Avon Walk For Breast Cancer, as I am extremely passionate about walking for this cause.  I will not discuss politics or religion because, although I have a strong relationship with The Lord, I am also very liberal and many don't understand how these too mesh.  I choose to surround myself with GOOD people...In my eyes that means people that are doing their best at making a positive impact on our world.  Who you voted for and who/what/if you pray to are irrelevant to me and I want to be viewed in the same light.

So, here I go!  10 days before my 40th Birthday I'm gonna take this blogging thing for a spin and see how it goes! It is new and bland and, well what I really need is for my friend Mara to come set it up for me.  Oh well, it will come together in time.  Wish me luck and thanks for stopping by!